3rd private session with my trainer and this time I managed to convince/ bribe/ mislead my sister to join me in what I described as a “fun filled session of stretching and basic movement”. Lies, lies, and more lies.
I just knew from the first 2 minutes of the trainer arriving that this session was gonna be fucking terrible. The fancy scales were brought out and BMI, bone density, fat levels, etc were taken for the two of us. You know when they start playing Darth Vader’s Imperial March a few moments before he appears? That’s how I felt about the exercise session that was about to start.
Within minutes of running on the spot and pushing my arms back and forth, I wanted to die and was closely resembling a tomato that had been out in the sun too long and fought a Germany beach goer for the last sun lounger in Benedorm!!!
About here I wanted to die. Minutes exercising .25 seconds!!!
The next 45 minutes involved me mostly using my stomach muscles (abs perhaps?) to prevent myself from vomiting all over my sister and trying really hard not to faint as I would have legit have to be taken out the window a la “Gilbert Grapes” mum!!!!
Water torture or water boarding would have been more fun than exercising.
When these thoughts entered my head, I thought maybe I should say something to the trainer but really couldn’t risk her answer being “if you have time to think, you aren’t working hard enough!!” So kept quiet…… Really quiet.
Time moves slower when you are exercising… Real slow. Like I swear I had seen my grandchildren graduate and elope (with totally inappropriate partners I may add) before this session ended. I swear I was marching on the spot for 90 years.
It finally ended and somehow between start and finish my legs had been replaced by jelly, my arms had fallen off and I felt like had gone a round with Mike Tyson.
Till next time